Yep! I gotta go there!
My daughter is 13-years old and she is my life’s treasure.
I love everything about raising her and watching her blossom into a young woman. It’s a rewarding, but TOUGH job! No instruction manual!
I do, however, have at least one “sure” thing.
As long as there is breath in my body I’m determined this child will know she was born to be strong, confident, intelligent, assertive, fearless, bold and beautiful.
So… excuse me a moment…while I show a side of me few people ever see.
I recently saw a report about a professional athlete who has publicized a list of “dating tips,” for women who want to “get with” a pro athlete.
Notice I said, “get with.” I won’t even bother to use the ACTUAL phraseology that accompanied this lame brain topic.
I’m about to rip to shreds this short-sighted, ill-considered gesture. (And that’s putting it mildly…what I think of it)
I’m done with silence and apathy when it comes to fools who refuse (or simply lack the mental capacity) to respect our young women who already bear the tremendous burden of overcoming the basic challenges of growing up.
This “list” of dating tips threw me for such a loop, at first, I wondered, “Should I even acknowledge it?” Then I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I got more and more incensed by the audacity, the sheer pompousness and sexism it wreaks.
Some of the so-called tips, include, “cater to them after practice,” “please them when needed.” Oh… and get this one! “accept the fact they are always busy.”
Let’s just address the latter. “Accept the fact they are ALWAYS busy.” This is number 2 on the list of roughly 10 or 12 things. The placement of this particular one… insinuates this detail is of great importance.
As if to say… “Baby… I’ll hardly ever be around. But when I am, don’t question me about anything, just be here, degrade and belittle yourself… oh, and by the way… check your self-respect at the door because the room is only so big and right now it’s “filled up” with my ego.”
Wow. It is sad that money, status and self- absorption have prompted, in some, a definite lapse when it comes to perpetuating stereotypes that women are weak, easy to manipulate and nothing more than sex objects.
Well now… Mr. “Baller- No thought Caller,” I’m going to offer you this– And I speak on behalf of any girl or young woman who is unfortunate enough to stumble upon your trifling little “list.”
How ‘bout YOU “accept the fact…” that while you’re “always busy” and in need of someone to “cater to” and “please you” on demand… there are some things that possibly deserve MORE of your attention.
You see…my research reveals that more than 70 percent of NFL and NBA players are broke within five years after ending their playing careers.
So, guess what?
Soon you may have LOTS more time on your hands… but a little less clout.
At any rate wouldn’t you like to be recognized for uplifting– rather than tearing down — a generation of women that already has enough working against it?
Am I naive? Or is it too much to think that any man who was raised by a mother, a grandmother, an aunt, older sister or had some female figure in their life could just embrace the inherent value in us all?
It’s my sincere hope that regardless a man’s profession, education level, faith, culture or economic status… he might think twice about his choice of words and actions before releasing them into the universe.
You might ask, “Is this something I’d be okay with, if it were directed toward my daughter, sister, mother or my wife?”
If you could take the time to ask that question…maybe…JUST MAYBE you could rest in knowing that somewhere, somehow… you’ve supported a mother—like me– who’s trying to raise a daughter to be confident, determined, self-assured and ready to share her knowledge and talents with the world while clutching a good deal of dignity, grace and self-respect.
If you made it to the end of this post… my thanks to you for reading.
*drops mic, walks out*
*cue music* (almost any song by India Arie will work here.)