Lemme see… How DO I roll?
Fabulously dahling! Dinner on the table by 7pm each night. Hang with A- listers. House… spotless. Got killer organizational skills. Daughter’s schedule perfectly planned down to the hour. Husband thinks I walk on water… Aaannnnnd… I’m already finished with the Christmas shopping!
That’s right. Uh Huh.
I CAN DREAM, CAN’T I?!?!?
Definitely had you going, didn’t I?
Okay… here’s the part where I’ve gotta ask… “Are ya sitting down?” Hope so.
Bring your ear closer.
The woman in the earlier paragraph…I will NEVER be her. Period. Plain. Simple. I don’t even know who the HECK that is!!
Whew! Glad that’s out in the open! Now. Comin clean. The dirty truth.
- If I cooked one meal last week, that’s estimating on the high side.
- Everyday my kid comes home with homework I know less and less about.
- I cursed at the dog because he made me chase him around the house while he ran with my nice shoe. (Yes, I apologized. Sorry Checkers..)
- The dry cleaners called to say, “Hey, could you come pick up your stuff?” Oops.
- I secretly hate Twitter. I’m @confused… and #nogood at it.
- I don’t even know what to do on “Pinterest.”
- My sisters yell at me when I take too long to return their calls. Love ‘em anyway.
- Husband says I fuss too much. Really? I just like things done the right (my) way.
- I feel free when I’m not wearing make-up. Even freer when I’m writing.
Is “freer” a word?
Yay! It is. Just looked it up.
Hold up! There was one accurate thing about that first description! I DO hang with “A-listers!”
They are my wonderful, beautiful, lovable, amazing family and my circle of incredible and awesome friends. You people rock!! You don’t even laugh when I’m not wearing make-up! Well, at least not out loud. *giggle*